The best conversationalists always set the intention for the conversation before they start. So, on your way to an event ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this event or my interaction with this person?” It could be new business, getting to know someone or even just having a good time. Just setting that intention ahead of time helps you guide your conversation.The best conversationalists start their conversation on the approach. Think about your body language. You want your hands to be visible and your shoulders down and back. And you want to smile. When you smile at someone, it warms them up. Your smile is your opening line.There was an extensive research experiment that looked at almost every conversation starter possible—and there was one that far outweighed the rest. It sounds so simple, “Hello. How are you? “If you think about it, you really don’t want to say anything too intense when you first start. So, you start with the smile and say, “Hey. How are you.” It’s just a nice, natural start.After the opener, the best conversationalists look for conversation sparks. This is the difference between a dazzling conversation and a “meh” conversation. You want to be curious. Across cultures, across genders and across races, the universal non-verbal curiosity cue is the eyebrow raise. Anytime anyone says something interesting, we raise our eyebrows.So, if you want to end a conversation, try the future-mention. You might ask what the other person is doing next weekend or later today. The future-mention subtly shifts our focus from the present to the future. Once they share their plans, it’s your cue to end the conversation by saying, “It was great speaking with you today and I wish you the best on (whatever they are doing that weekend).”
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