Make a list of what you’ve always thought of as your negative qualities. Include any criticisms others have made of you that you’ve been holding onto—whether it’s something your siblings, parents, or peers used to say about you when you were a child, or what your boss told you in your last annual review. Don’t judge if they’re accurate, and remember we all have flaws. This is one of the beauties of being human. Simply make a note of them and look for a common theme, such as “I’m unworthy.” This will be a great place to start making a shift in your lifeNow write an affirmation on the positive aspect of your self-judgment.For example, instead of saying, “I’m worthy,” you could say, “I’m remarkable and cherished.” After you have written your affirmation, ask a close friend to read it to see if they have any suggestions for how to make it stronger. Speak the affirmation out loud for about five minutes three times a day, morning, midday, and evening. Another option that helps to reinforce the new belief and would be easy to do at work is to write out the affirmation several times in a notebook. Notice over time as you write it if your style of writing changes. This could be a clue as to how your mind perceives the new concept. I call this exercise using the mindfulness journal to forward the agenda of the positive affirmation.Anchor the affirmation in your body as you are repeating it by placing your hand on the area that felt uncomfortable when you wrote out the negative belief in Step 1. Also, “breathe” into the affirmation while you are saying or writing it. As you reprogram your mind, you want to move from the concept of the affirmation to a real, positive embodiment of the quality you seek.Get a friend or coach to repeat your affirmation to you. As they are saying, for example, “You are remarkable and cherished,” identify this statement as “good mothering” or “good fathering” messages. If you don’t have someone whom you feel comfortable asking, then use your reflection in the mirror as the person who is reinforcing the healthy message.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wise-open-mind/201108/5-steps-make-affirmations-work-you
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